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These Tales were originally posted from 1999-2001. I lost them all in a computer crash, but good friends saved some so I can post them again.


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San Marco Tales
Thursday, October 25, 2001   By: Br'er Juan

Two tales from the outskirts of San Marco.

These two tales occurred in the exclusive Jacksonville neighborhood of San Marco - it borders more interesting neighborhoods, and on the edges, one finds more interesting people.

For instance, at Subway.

Male Subway Associate: "Hey man, what can I git ya?"

Br'er Juan: "How about ... "

Female Subway Associate with the phone tucked to her ear: "DON'T YOU TAKE NO ORDER - YOU KNOW THIS REGISTER'S BROKE."

Male Subway Associate: "Hey, don't yell at me - the man needs his sandwich.

It ain't broke, it just says we ought to have mo' money than we got."

Female Subway Associate: "Three thousand dollars mo' than we got. The man'll put us on the chain gang for this."

(Slamming the phone down) "These damn people don't know no mo' about fixin' the register than I do."

Male Subway Associate speaking with a wholly straight face: "I'll tell you what. I'll call my crazy uncle on the phone and get him to come down here.Then we can tell'em he robbed the place."

Later, Br'er Juan drove into the Gate Station and noticed a police car parking just in front. The officer jumped out of his car and stepped over towards the gas pumps where he glared at a bearded man wearing a baseball cap and a paint splattered t-shirt. The man was pumping gas into a pickup.

Officer: "Hey, put out that cigarette."

Goober: "Smokin' ain't against the law."

Officer: "You blow this place up, it'll piss me off. And that IS against the law."

Again proving that life can occasionally be funnier than TV.

Tales and Humor  

(c)1968- today j.e. simmons or michael warren