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Camel Driver
Wednesday, April 03, 2002   By: Br'er Juan

Night on the Lower East Side of Ramallah. Yasser Arafat sits in a parked Mercedes hiding in the shadows.

Cg: Two days before Passover

Night on the Lower East Side of Ramallah. Yasser Arafat sits in a parked Mercedes hiding in the shadows.  The streets are full of people, both infidels and potential martyrs.

A man charges down the narrow street approaching Yasser. He walks in a fast, maniacal clip, looking only at the street in front of him. Out of his mouth comes a continuous stream of invectives: Jew infidel, American infidel, praise Allah that I might kill and kill and kill.

Nobody notices.

Yasser spots the object of his search, a young Palestinian girl wearing clothes more Westernized than most. Even makeup. She walks down the street with her girlfriend.

He checks to see if his .38 is still in place in it's shoulder holster. It is.

Yasser climbs out of his Mercedes, flips up the collar on his military jacket and adjusts his best black and white checked head covering. Yasser slouches over and walks up to Ayat and walks beside her. He always looks suspicious when he's trying to appear innocent.

Yasser - "Hello."

Ayat - "You looking for some action?"

Yasser - "Well, I guess so, if Allah wills it."

Ayat - "All right." (eyeing him) "You see that guy over there?"

Yasser nods.

Ayat - "His name is Sheik Osama al Keitel bin al-Sport. Go with Allah, walk over there and talk to him. I'll wait here."

Yasser walks towards al-Sport, a small, dirty,  bearded man wearing long robes and carrying an AK-47.

Yasser - "Your name al-Sport?"

Sport - "Anything you say, Rabbi." (laughing)

Yasser - "Praise Allah, I'm no Jew." (joining in the laugh) (Both look back at Ayat)

Yasser - "I want some action."

Sport - "I see. Twenty dollars American, praise Allah."

Yasser -  "Twenty dollars? You infidel."

Sport - "Take it or leave it. She's twelve and a half years old. You can do anything you want with her, you can have her throw rocks at the Jews, you can have her spit on Jews, you can have her drive an ambulance and smuggle the arms the martyrs use to kill Jews, you can have her shoot Jews from ambush, man. She's so young and strong you can have her carry a big bomb into a Jew grocery and make it explode."

Yasser - "All right, I'll take her."

Sport - "Have yourself a good time."

fade to next scene

Cg: Two days after Passover

Tracking shot of Yasser's room. Camera moves slowly across wall covered with press clippings, headlines of bombings and battles since the 70s - and photos of Yasser with Bill Clinton. A map of Palestine without Israel.

Gunfire in background

Yasser (off camera)  "...for some time. True force. All Allah's men can't put it together again"

As camera reaches end of track it finds Yasser standing, alone in the small room illuminated by candles, his shirt open, wearing an empty holster and holding a .44 in his hand.

Small explosion in background

He gives the audience a lesson in gunsmanship. He practices fast-drawing the .38 Special from his holster and clicking the trigger on an empty chamber.

Sounds of tanks driving outside

He hooks the .44 in to his pants behind his back and practices drawing it. He holds the .44 firmly at arms length, tightens his forearm muscles.

He has made a quick-draw mechanism he tapes to his forearm so his Colt .25 can rest hidden until he activates a spring that pops the pistol into his hand. He has cut open his shirt to accommodate the gun mechanism, and he now checks the mirror to see that the gun is hidden.

Sounds of shelling outside

He straps a combat knife to his calf.

He sits at his table dum-dumming the .44 bullets - cutting X's in the bullet heads.

Sounds of machine gun fire in background

He stands in the middle of the room staring at the mirror - drawing and pointing the .38

Yasser - "Listen you screw head infidels. Here is a man."

Sound of grenade explosion downstairs

Yasser - "You talking to me?"

 "You talking to me? "

"I'm the only one here."

Fade to black as Yasser draws again - music up full - smokey sax solo


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