One benefit offered by my present line of work is the opportunity to closely observe what passes for reasoned, intelligent activity by humanoids.
Humanoids such as the young woman with long, stringy blonde hair who walked over to me throwing glances over her shoulder.
She slipped a folded sheet of paper across the counter and whispered,” I need 30 copies of this."
Her document unfolded to show a headline "WARN EVERYONE" and two columns of type printed all the way to the bottom of the page. Copying a document printed in that manner required all of my professional skills - and a couple of tests to be sure I got every line on the page. I handed the 30 copies to the young lady, she clutched them to her breast and darted to the cashier while glancing back at the front door.
When she left, I became a reporter again - out of the trash I fished one of the test copies of her warning document. Here's what she's warning everyone about.
It seems that back during the Eisenhower administration (just in case certain former co-workers read this, that was the 1950s) the earth was invaded by a race of space aliens called the "Grays." These small, bald bubble headed creatures with oddly shaped eyes came to warn us of the dangers of nuclear war, pollution, and some other foolishness we were engaged in after World War II.
As a result, President Eisenhower and a group of top military officers concocted an executive order under which the country still operates today. It provided money to build underground shelters for the Grays by claiming to be building public works projects such as sewers and interstate highways. It allowed the Grays to kidnap 20,000 earthlings every year for "medical research." (Quotes in the original).
When the lifestyle of the Grays required more money, George Bush used his Texas oil company to create drug running. Bush had international drug manufacturers unload their product at his off shore oil rigs. When he became head of the CIA, Bush turned the operation over to that agency - allowing it to gain control of the minds of our inner city youth.
Now the Grays are warning us of a coming attack by a killer race of space beings. We built the Hubble Space Telescope to get an early warning of their arrival.
And to cover up all of this, the CIA will soon stage a fake space alien landing and display a few of the Grays. All of you who are still in the media will get invitations to meet the aliens.
Please let me know when you get one of these invitations - I want you to ask a couple of questions for me:
1. If the Grays knew about this killer race of space aliens, why did they stop our nuclear tests? It seems that launching a few nukes would be an effective deterrent to their landing.
2. Is James Carville one of them?