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If Bush Were chavez
Monday, March 26, 2007 By: Juan Paxety
Passions are like the wind: They are needed to set things in motion, but they frequently result in hurricanes
This is a hoot. Following President George W. Bush's visit March 12 to Guatemala (photo right is of Mr. Bush with Guatemalan President Oscar Berger), Carlos Zúñiga Fumagalli wrote a piece for Prensa Libre, Guatemala, showing what it would be like if President Bush actually acted like hugo chavez. The English translation is here. The original Spanish, here. This is a sample:
If another rooster would crow, the world would be a different place. To begin with, cable television would be without alternative channels; all the TV channels would be closed for criticizing the president or mentioning his "sainted" progenitor. [A reference to his mother].
If Bush were Chavez, football [soccer] would be banned for being American rather than pro-Bolivarian. We would have to eat arepas (corn cakes) at the movie theater, since hot dogs would be forbidden. Even "shucos del Liceo" (Guatemalan hot dogs) would be outlawed since they contain sausage, a typical symbol of imperialism.
The nickname "Uncle Sam" would be history, and Papa Hugo would prevail, wearing a red beret rather than a striped hat and waving a flag with a horse galloping backwards instead of the stars and stripes [Chavez changed the insignia on the Venezuelan flag so that the horse is galloping backwards]. Poverty would be a source of pride and wealth would be a cause for shame. Lies would be truth, and the irony would be a democracy lived under tyranny.
The American dream would be to escape the North in search of freedom. The "tortilla wall" [the Mexican border wall] would be just like the ocean is to Cuba, serving as a barrier that enslaves a community in misery. The United States would cease to act as the granary of the world and would begin importing grains to feed its hungry.
Read the whole thing.