Paxety Pages

Fact: In his movie, An Inconvenient Truth, politician Al Gore called on Americans to reduce their use of electricity.

Fact: According to public records brought to light by The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, an independent, nonprofit and nonpartisan research organization, Gore’s household consumes approximately 20 times that of the average American household!

Fact: Al Gore’s twenty room, eight-bathroom home in a elite area of Nashville uses approximately twice as much electricity in a month as the average American household does in a year!

Fact: Al Gore’s use of natural gas for his mansion averaged over a thousand dollars per month.

Fact: After his movie came out, Al Gore’s personal use of electricity has INCREASED.

Fact: Al Gore has also called on Americans to move away from vehicles like SUVs, so as to reduce their ‘carbon footprint.’

Fact: Al Gore flies around the country in a private jet, giving him a ‘carbon footprint’ exponentially larger than that created by an SUV.

Fact: Since Al Gore increases his energy consumption to inexcusable astronomical levels while he makes protestations about energy consumption by other Americans and calls for them to curb their use of the same, this duplicity makes him not only an unabashed hypocrite, but gives him a lofty position in the annals of hypocrisy.

If Oscars were given for hypocritical politicians, Al Gore would have swept the field (though Hilliary's' largely unnoted flip-flopping stance on the war in Iraq might give Al a close run).

Now, all you Gore-greeners suck on that – then run out and get the spin-mill up and running. Here; maybe these ideas will help get you started:

• Everyone knows that the Tennessee Power Company is run by lying neocons.
• Ditto the gas company -- who are jack-booted thugs and probably associated with providing gas for the Nazi death camps in WWII.
• Al needs all those rooms to store in massive ego in.
• Al needs all those room and all that electricity because he is storing corn and trying to convert into jet fuel.
• Those rooms are filled with the infamous hanging-chads, which Al counts over and over while morosely drinking wine and lamenting his failed political career.

Actually, the leftist spin mill is already frantically weaving fact into fancy. Reportedly, Gore and signed up for 100 percent green power through a program called Green Power Switch. He is also installing solar panels and using other energy-saving technology like fluorescent bulbs. Note please that if you are using solar panels and fluorescent bulbs, neither is supposed to increase your electric bill. Conversely, if not for these energy-saving measures, just how gigantic would Gore’s energy footprint be? More than twenty times the annual household consumption?

Also, in a move which, as one blogger notes, "right-wingers can't understand," Gore has purchased "carbon-offsets." You are wrong mindless liberal blogger, we understand completely. It is a matter of purchasing moral equivalence for the privileged: Mafioso donate vast sums of money to the church – while continually violating the moral precepts the institution espouses. Attempting to level one’s moral debt by purchase is called using "blood money."

Maybe Al is trying to appease his conscience and atone for his moral duplicity by paying with "Green Money."

If Al is really serious about reducing his carbon footprint, perhaps he could start by cutting back on the numerous hot air transmissions he produces.